Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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