dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
