mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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