U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
