there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize