that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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