TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
