she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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