Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
