I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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