my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
