In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize