Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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