If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
