it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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