I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
