i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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