I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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