I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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