I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
