arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
