Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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