I must be too annoying 4 u.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
