HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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