i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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