I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize