You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
