Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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