Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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