Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
