CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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