I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
