but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
