my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
