I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
