If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i believe in u and ur pee
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