What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize