you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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