I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
