New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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