Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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