your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
