Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
