She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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