I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize