I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
