All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize