i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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