i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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