Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
