Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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