Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
