So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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