The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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