Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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