remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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