1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
