Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We are two peas in an std pod
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
