I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
