Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
