I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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