What a fucking waste of an outfit
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
