i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize