i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
