You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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