its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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