Your dad touched me again.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
