Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
