I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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