You made me cry and you don't even care
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
nutella sex= disaster
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
