yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
